The Crazy Contradictions in Being Christian

I live with this crazy contradiction that I think of as being Christian: I want everyone to like me, but at the same time I don’t mind a good fight. I try to give the benefit of the doubt to people -- who they are and what they think, but at the same time I don’t hold back from defending my own convictions, even when I know it‘s going to tick someone off.
If this contradiction is going to lead to trouble it usually comes from wanting everyone to like me. It can lead me to give people more credit than they’re due and assume their good intentions for too long despite mounting evidence to the contrary. Then when the truth becomes obvious things can turn nasty.
CNN’s Jack Cafferty recently published a book called, “It’s Getting Ugly Out There,” and any observer of the American scene--either the political or religious landscape--would have to agree he’s right. The reason may be that no one cares anymore whether the guys on the other side like them or not. No one is interested in giving the benefit of the doubt. Everyone is quick to hand out black hats to those they disagree with while perching a bright white Stetson on their own dome.
Just below Jesus Christ on my heroes list is Princeton economist Paul Krugman. I’ve seen Krugman in action and believe his natural tendency is to give people the benefit of the doubt. But last week he wrote a column suggesting we’ve been closing our eyes to the truth about the political right for too long, that memory is too short about facts like Barry Goldwater’s support for Joe McCarthy, Ronald Reagan’s opposition to the Voting Rights Act and the National Review’s support of White Supremacy in the segregated South. Maybe he‘s right. Maybe we should forgive but not forget, reach out in friendship but not let the wolf fool us into thinking he’s Red Riding Hood’s grandma. After all, it was Reagan who said, “trust but verify.” It’s a tricky business, figuring how to get along and avoid self-righteousness without giving in on important principles.
How do we work with this crazy contradiction? We want to reach out in love but not give the impression that all things are equal, that a life driven by self interest is as good as one driven by compassion. Taking my cue from the way Jesus worked, I think it may be in the tone of voice. Jesus had a “tone” about him that welcomed people to step into his circle--even those who came with bad intentions. I have to believe that some of those were changed just by being near to him. It happens even today. But he also knew when to say goodbye to those he saw weren’t candidates for the kingdom. And yet from the cross he forgave even those who crucified him. It’s funny, but the only people who ever make him mad were self-absorbed religious leaders who seemed more interested in closing doors to the kingdom than in opening them. That was one thing he was willing to fight over.